day 2/poem 2

I have isolated myself from Jamar Clark
And so has Officer Freeman
The court has gnashed it's teeth
Based on habit
And hollow covenant

I have hollowed my gut
So that nothing can rot there
Nothing can perform circus flips
When another
Boy
Girl
Womyn
Of color
Is told to leave this earth
Is forcibly sent to dust
Is shot in the head
By white hands
White supremacy
Reeks
Everywhere

He was 24 and I will be in months
Mental illness curls it's fingers
Around many a community
Thinking it can cradle
Us

He was 24 and I will be in months
And I sit here with a mimosa in hand
Listening to Beyoncé
And swimming in concert crowds
And responsibilities
And calls to family
And playlists made by my brother
And fashion blogs
And an Anthony Marra book
An my middle school lesson plans
And potato salad
And I cut my finger on an onion
And I was crying
And I couldn't tell if it was the onion
Or the cut
Or my ignorance.